Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
