So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
