I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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