im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize