matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I just want to make out with him forever
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
