you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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