I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
