It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
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I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
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I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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