We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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