either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You're a waste of cheezeits
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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