So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
