i think my tv is drunk
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
