Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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