There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
