Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
