Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
