How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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