i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
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i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
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Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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