I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
