Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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