Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I touched a dick in church today
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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