honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
