I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
