She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
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