problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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