I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
So vagazzling was a success
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
COCAINE IS GR8
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
