i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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