doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
