the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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