I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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