But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
