Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
