there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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