I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
