Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
