i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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