saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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