i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
