So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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