I feel great
I just peed on a car
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
