i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
