1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
You're so nebulous sometimes
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Randomize
