We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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