Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
