is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
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