Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
