a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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