At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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