In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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