I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
