8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
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When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
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yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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