Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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