Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
This is the prime rib incident all over again
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
The adults are the big ones right?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
