OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize