please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
