I will die if light touches me.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
