pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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