Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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