Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
