I love black thongs
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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